[ARC Review] When We Were Infinite by Kelly Loy Gilbert

When We Were Infinite is a beautifully heart-wrenching tale about being true to who you are while the world is changing and falling apart around you. 

Beth may be quiet, but she's content within her small group of friends. But things start to change their senior year of high school; everyone's super competitive when it comes to getting into the right colleges, they're all losing sleep between practice tests, homework, and orchestra practice, and Beth finds out her home life isn't as black and white as she thought. And then one of her closest friends - the boy she's had a crush on forever - makes a life-altering decision that rocks their friend group to the core. Beth's reaction is to keep everyone else happy and keep them together at the expense of her physical and mental health. But as the panic attacks grow more frequent, and Beth continues to feel like everything's tilting out of control, her thoughts grow darker and her actions more erratic. With pressures mounting, Beth will have to fall apart in order to find a way back to herself before it's too late. 

There are so many wonderful reasons to read When We Were Infinite, first being how well this book highlights all the real life issues and stresses teenagers and young adults are put through in our society. Multiple characters go to some really dark places throughout the story, which may be a trigger for some people. I think Kelly Loy Gilbert handles those topics realistically, and I think it's great to see how differently each of her characters responds when things get dark. Other topics addressed in When We Were Infinite include diversity, academic pressures within the Asian American community, prioritizing your happiness, abuse, and racism. Despite a happy ending, suicide and mental health are a huge factor in Beth's story, and I really appreciated that Kelly Loy Gilbert listed resources in the back of the book and encouraged readers to seek help both during and after reading if needed. 

While things could get very dark at times, and Beth's mental health issues weren't always the easiest to read in 1st person, I found When We Were Infinite to be a much needed, if fictional, look into the pressures and issues facing high school students today. 

Thanks to Simon & Schuster and Netgalley for access to this remarkable story in advance of its release date.